10 Killer Techniques On How To Be CharismaticAlpha males ooze charisma; they’re magnetic and charming. But don’t be discouraged thinking, “you’ve either got it, or you don’t.” While some people are naturally charismatic, it’s a quality you can cultivate through practice And tThe ability to be charismatic has nothing to do with your race, gender, personality, or being an introvert or extrovert. There are a collection of subtle social skills that you can work on in order to be that charismatic alpha male.
Here are ten killer techniques, supported by science:
1. Talk with your hands
Alpha males are highly articulate. If you talk and communicate using your hands, you’ll be perceived as more trustworthy and appealing according to studies. One of the first areas you naturally look at when meeting someone new is their hands. Evolutionists explain it was crucial for human survival in our “hunter-gatherer” days, to make sure other people were not carrying any weapons.
Showing your palms defuses the subconscious safety mechanism and conveys you as non-threatening to others. People will be more drawn to you once they feel comfortable with you. And using hand gestures also helps you communicate better. It’s called “embodied cognition,” meaning there’s a strong connection between what your mind is trying to process and say, and your body movements. Moving your hands helps your mind convey your thoughts.
So the next time you’re having a conversation, be intentional about using your hands — you’ll be more articulate and charismatic.
2. Use their name
Alpha males are engaging and always use a person’s name when speaking to them. Scientists using fMRI found that unique parts of the brain were activated when people heard their own name. It makes them feel significant and valued.
When someone introduces themselves to you, take extra care in remembering their name, and then use it during the conversation. The fact that you’ve remembered their name will win you respect and admiration.
Watch your posture
Alpha males are masters of their posture. Slouching or any body posture that is restrictive, reserved, or timid is known as a “low-power pose.” It will make you feel less confident, and you’ll be perceived as unapproachable, and cold.
Changing your physical posture will change your psychology. Standing tall, being open, and expansive is known as a “high-power pose.” This causes your brain to release dopamine, making you feel better and more confident. Studies by psychologist Amy Cuddy showed that people who took a high-power pose for two minutes before an interview performed much better than those who did not.
Try this right now — it’s called the “Superman” pose: stand tall, broaden your shoulders and chest, place your hands on your hips, and your feet shoulder-width apart—as if you’re unstoppable and about to save the world. Hold this position for 2 minutes and you’ll cause your brain to release dopamine and you’ll feel more confident. Charisma comes from confidence.
Listen and ask questions
Alpha males also listen. The ancient Greeks had a saying, “You should listen twice as much as you speak because you have two ears and one mouth.” People enjoy sharing their life stories; giving someone a platform to do this by asking questions and listening, instead of dominating the floor, will make you the kind of person others want to be around.
Remember what Dale Carnegie said, “Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.” But be genuine, people will smell you being phony from a mile away.
Cut out fillers and vocalized pauses
Alpha males are clear communicators. Vocalized pauses (“ahh,” “umm”) and fillers (“like,” “you know”) will severely cramp your communication. Charismatic people are eloquent and articulate, and that comes from ironing out your speaking skills.
Be a fly on the wall to your own conversations and note how often you use fillers and vocalized pauses. Ask your friends to call you out whenever you do. They’re often used when you’re unsure of what to say. Don’t be afraid of silence, give yourself time to think and choose the right words to say. You’ll declutter your speech and you’ll be a more charismatic speaker.
Alpha males read body language. Humans posses an interesting thing called “mirror-neurons,” it allows you to naturally mimic the body movements of others. We’re social creatures and wired for community and relationships; mirroring allows you to empathize and connect. It’s often unconscious — think of the last time you just crossed your arms at the same time the other person did.
Subtly mirroring the stance and body language of whoever you’re conversing with will make them more comfortable and increase rapport.
Alpha males make others feel great. Compliments have been shown to boost people’s self-esteem by up to 34 percent. People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel. Charismatic people use compliments and are intentional about making others feel significant.
The next time you’re having a conversation — identify one thing that you could make a nice comment about. Or, send a random email, card, or text message letting a friend know you appreciate them or encourage them about something they’ve done recently.
Initiate and introduce yourself
Alpha males take the first step. It’s common to see most people stand back and be hesitant at social and networking events. Charismatic people take the initiative to introduce themselves and spark a conversation. It shows confidence through being active rather than passive.
Take the first step at your next event. Set aside any fear of judgment and any self-consciousness. Make great eye contact, and be sure to acknowledge every single person if you enter into a group conversation.
Alpha males have mastered the art of telling great stories, and it doesn’t take long for people to start gathering around them. Everyone loves a good story. A person’s imagination sparks up when they listen to stories, and they feel as if they’re actually living it.
One of the key elements and foundations of storytelling is to “open and close the curiosity gap.” Raise a topic that will perk the interest of others. Speak with passion, use imagery and emotions.
Watch your smile
Alpha males smile — sometimes. There are conflicting studies on the effects of smiles. In a study by the University of British Columbia, 1,000 adult participants rated the sexual attractiveness of hundreds of images of the opposite sex. The researchers found that women were least attracted to smiling, happy men.
However, co-author of the study Alec Beall was quick to point out, “this study explored first-impressions of sexual attraction to images of the opposite sex. We were not asking participants if they thought these targets would make a good boyfriend or wife — we wanted their gut reactions on carnal, sexual attraction.”
A major flaw of the study is that it’s absent of context; the people were merely looking at photos. And that’s never the case with social interactions — people care about how you present yourself, and how you make them feel. Looking stern and stoic all the time will not be received well. Women are highly attractive to a sense of humor.
The key is to be strategic with smiling. Other studies have shown that smiling sets off the brain’s reward mechanism in the same way exercise does or eating chocolate. Researches have found that people who smile are perceived as trustworthy and easier to cooperate with, and of course, this will add to your charisma.
Don’t be one-dimensional, smile at times to create warmth, be stoic at other times to convey mystery.