How to Approach Women Like A Pro – Avoid These 10 Mistakes.The worst mistakes, are the ones you don’t even realize you’re making. Approaching women can be really easy — if you know what you’re doing! When you learn how to talk to girls you need to be mindful of your behavior, and her responses. Psychologists call it “Intra-personal Intelligence,” meaning an awareness of your own thoughts and actions, and “Inter-personal Intelligence” meaning an awareness of how you interact with others.
I’ve lost count of the number of mistakes I’ve made when approaching a woman, and I wish someone gave me these tips. If you want to win with women, you need to master these skills and avoid making any of these ten major mistakes:
Do you fear the worst before you’ve even approached an attractive woman? Unfortunately, most guys disqualify themselves before the game has even begun. Forget what you’ve heard, women are not out to humiliate you in public! Get your mindset right from the get-go. Have some fun.
Never start a sentence with “I know you might not be interested” or “This may be really strange.”
What you’re actually doing is “pre-framing” a negative scenario — don’t even open that door for any potential negative responses. Start with success in your mind, and approach her as if she’s already interested.
2. Being Stoic
Even if your conversation is interesting, women will lose interest if your body language is boring. Use hand gestures and don’t be afraid of being a little animated in your interaction. Think of the most boring lecturer you had in college — you do not want to be like that! Vary your tone also, nobody likes listening to a monotone person. Smile, laugh, and use humor — it will trigger off both your happy chemicals and build attraction.
3. Space Invaders
Jumping straight into a woman’s personal space will set off her creeper-alarm. Body language experts say to avoid standing directly in front during initial introductions as it can be perceived as confrontational. Instead, stand slightly at an angle and just less than an arm-length away. Gauge how the conversation is developing, you can then start to move closer as she shows more signs of interested.
4. Ignoring the context
The wrong place, at the wrong time also applies to approaching women. If she looks like she’s in a rush, you won’t have much success with a rushed conversation.
Gyms are a notorious no-go zone — most women hate being hit-on while they’re sweaty and trying to pump-out a good workout. Play it safe in the gym, if there’s a girl you’re interested in, make a little eye contact and smile, if she’s interested, she will let you know.
Context is important! If a woman is relaxed, she’s more open to conversation. For some great places to strike up a conversation with a girl, try the airport, the grocery store, coffee shops, or at the park.
5. Eye Contact
Actually look at her when you are speaking. Women are more attracted to men who make good eye contact. But don’t go overboard and end up playing a staring contest. Limited eye contact is associated with shame and reservedness, and will convey to a woman a lack of confidence. Aim to maintain eye contact for about 60% – 80% of a conversation.
6. Same old conversations
“Where are you from?” “What do you do?”
Those aren’t necessarily bad questions, but they’re boring. Spice things up a little and think outside the box. Ask her some novel questions that allows her to show her unique personality. Like, “If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be?” or “What one superhero power would you choose to have?”
7. Objectifying compliments
Don’t make her feel like a piece of meat. If your favorite pick up lines are taken from rap songs, delete them. Approaching a woman with words like “you’re damn fine” will only make her cringe.
However, complimenting the way her earrings match the color of her eyes will show that you admire her taste, and that you actually notice, and appreciate her.
8. Being too drunk
A night out is one of the most popular settings to meet a girl, but a bit of liquid courage can easily go too far. When you start to slur your words, she will start looking for a way out. Women are attracted to a man with self-control.
9. Listing your resume
Telling a woman how great you are will only make her think one thing — that you’re not. And you’ll come off as insecure. On the other hand, asking her questions and listening will show her that you’re genuinely interested. There are ways to talk about your life without having to brag. As a general rule, listen twice as much as you talk.
10. Being passive and indecisive
There’s a big difference between being laid-back and being completely passive and indecisive. Women love confidence and men who can make decisions. If you find yourself constantly saying, “I don’t know,” “I’m not sure,” “I don’t care,” or “Whatever you feel like,” that’s not attractive at all.
Show a woman that you know what you stand for, that you have clear opinions, and that you can lead. That doesn’t mean being forceful, but when she asks you a question, she wants to hear a clear answer. Confidence is sexy.