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How to Approach Women: 10 Biggest Mistakes Men Make

How to Approach Women Like A Pro – Avoid These 10 Mistakes.

The worst mistakes, are the ones you don’t even realize you’re making. Approaching women can be really easy — if you know what you’re doing!  When you learn how to talk to girls you need to be mindful of your behavior, and her responses. Psychologists call it “Intra-personal Intelligence,” meaning an awareness of your own thoughts and actions, and “Inter-personal Intelligence” meaning an awareness of how you interact with others.

I’ve lost count of the number of mistakes I’ve made when approaching a woman, and I wish someone gave me these tips. If you want to win with women, you need to master these skills and avoid making any of these ten major mistakes:

1. Self-Disqualifying

Do you fear the worst before you’ve even approached an attractive woman? Unfortunately, most guys disqualify themselves before the game has even begun. Forget what you’ve heard, women are not out to humiliate you in public! Get your mindset right from the get-go. Have some fun.

Never start a sentence with “I know you might not be interested” or “This may be really strange.”

What you’re actually doing is “pre-framing” a negative scenario — don’t even open that door for any potential negative responses. Start with success in your mind, and approach her as if she’s already interested.

Related: 10 Killer Techniques for Boosting Your Charisma

2. Being Stoic

Even if your conversation is interesting, women will lose interest if your body language is boring. Use hand gestures and don’t be afraid of being a little animated in your interaction. Think of the most boring lecturer you had in college — you do not want to be like that! Vary your tone also, nobody likes listening to a monotone person. Smile, laugh, and use humor — it will trigger off both your happy chemicals and build attraction.

3. Space Invaders

how to talk to girls

Jumping straight into a woman’s personal space will set off her creeper-alarm. Body language experts say to avoid standing directly in front during initial introductions as it can be perceived as confrontational. Instead, stand slightly at an angle and just less than an arm-length away. Gauge how the conversation is developing, you can then start to move closer as she shows more signs of interested.

4. Ignoring the context

The wrong place, at the wrong time also applies to approaching women. If she looks like she’s in a rush, you won’t have much success with a rushed conversation.

Gyms are a notorious no-go zone — most women hate being hit-on while they’re sweaty and trying to pump-out a good workout. Play it safe in the gym, if there’s a girl you’re interested in, make a little eye contact and smile, if she’s interested, she will let you know.

Context is important! If a woman is relaxed, she’s more open to conversation. For some great places to strike up a conversation with a girl, try the airport, the grocery store, coffee shops, or at the park.

Related: The Top 10 Tattoos That Women Find Attractive

5. Eye Contact

how to talk to girls

Actually look at her when you are speaking. Women are more attracted to men who make good eye contact. But don’t go overboard and end up playing a staring  contest. Limited eye contact is associated with shame and reservedness, and will convey to a woman a lack of confidence. Aim to maintain eye contact for about 60% – 80% of a conversation.

6. Same old conversations

Where are you from?” “What do you do?

Those aren’t necessarily bad questions, but they’re boring. Spice things up a little and think outside the box. Ask her some novel questions that allows her to show her unique personality. Like, “If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be?” or “What one superhero power would you choose to have?”

7. Objectifying compliments

Don’t make her feel like a piece of meat. If your favorite pick up lines are taken from rap songs, delete them. Approaching a woman with words like youre damn fine will only make her cringe.

However, complimenting the way her earrings match the color of her eyes will show that you admire her taste, and that you actually notice, and appreciate her.

Related: 10 Subtle Cues That Totally Reveal She Wants You

8. Being too drunk


A night out is one of the most popular settings to meet a girl, but a bit of liquid courage can easily go too far. When you start to slur your words, she will start looking for a way out. Women are attracted to a man with self-control.

9. Listing your resume

Telling a woman how great you are will only make her think one thing — that you’re not. And you’ll come off as insecure. On the other hand, asking her questions and listening will show her that you’re genuinely interested. There are ways to talk about your life without having to brag. As a general rule, listen twice as much as you talk.

Related: Make A Choice – Motivational Video 2016

10. Being passive and indecisive

There’s a big difference between being laid-back and being completely passive and indecisive. Women love confidence and men who can make decisions. If you find yourself constantly saying, “I don’t know,” “I’m not sure,” “I don’t care,” or “Whatever you feel like,” that’s not attractive at all.

Show a woman that you know what you stand for, that you have clear opinions, and that you can lead. That doesn’t mean being forceful, but when she asks you a question, she wants to hear a clear answer. Confidence is sexy.

Adam Howell is a high school dropout turned serial entrepreneur. He successfully launched 5 startups in a single year which have been featured on Fox, Business Insider, Huffington Post, PC Mag and more. After traveling to 15 different countries he now calls Thailand home and teaches others how they can do the same.

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  1. No. 1 is the biggest no-no. You know those guys who are always punching above their weight? That’s me and it’s incredibly simple why. That super hot girl at the bar that all the guys are intimidated by, she’s the first girl I approach! All night guys have been checking her out but not one of them has actually spoken to her, they’ve all ruled themselves out thinking she’s out of their league or worried that she’ll laugh at them or turn them down. Sure, I’ve been turned down a few times, but I’ve had more success than failures, all it takes is a bit of confidence and courage.

  2. I can agree with most of the mistakes pointed out here. However, I mostly agree with number 10. I have had a short relationship with a guy that was constantly saying I don’t know, I’m not sure etc. He was not confident and it was such a turn off. So guys, please read this article and don’t do the things mentioned above. Especially number 10!

  3. I never understand why men have to listen to woman exclusively. Can’t women ask the man what he’s interested in? I honestly have never seen an article on how a woman can attract a man, only how men attract a woman.

    No offense, but men aren’t the only ones who have trouble acquiring a partner, and woman make just as many mistakes trying to attract a man that it is ignored mostly everywhere.

    As a guy myself, I don’t like judgemental women, and those who tease and/or don’t show enough of themselves. Sure, being attractive helps, but if she is judging a man based on his confidence levels and charm, then I’m sorry, but that’s not attractive.

    Not all men are confident casanovas (we all wish we could), some are reserved who have trouble finding women who are accepting of their flaws, and that is the major problem with dating. It isn’t just a man’s responsibility to attract a woman, it goes both ways.

    It doesn’t help when women can’t keep promises either. A man is more likely to show up on a date and do everything to make the woman feel comfortable, but on the flip side, women just dress nice and don’t contribute to the date, or they arrive late because they know they’d be forgiven.

    How about advice for women on how to attract a man?

  4. The biggest mistake men make is approaching in the first place. What exactly are you trying to gain? Women are toxic and dangerous. Relationships with them are all cost and no benefit.

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